Life Lesson

John and I have been discussing some family issues, both extended and what we need to do for our children as they grow up. I thought I would share a great insight that we discovered (You are all probably so smart you already knew this but for us it was one of those dun dun dun dum moments).

How much can and should you do for people?? People we love and want the best for we want to help them constantly and unconditionally, however, we are also taught that we shouldn't do for others what they can and should do for themselves. Also on a previous post I wrote about letting people receive the consequences of their decisions-both good and bad. So when do we help??? What is the difference between helping and enabling?

Enabling in the dictionary says: 'qualify, authorize, entitle, permit, allow, sanction, approve, empower, faciliate, help, aid, assit' So, if we enable people we entitle them to feel that they deserve things handed to them, we allow them to use us, we sanction their actions, and we empower them to continue making the same mistakes.

To help those we love the best is to let them do ALL they can first, then they need to humble themselves and ask for the assistance they need, but can't do for themselves. If we help before these requirements are met then we are enabling them. After they do all they can and it is not enough then they humbly ask for help then we must help with everything we have to give.